An easy way to show up for yourself

There are many great articles about showing up for yourself and, if this is something you are interested in, I would encourage you to read them as well. I wanted to take a different angle with this post and focus on a simple way to develop a healthy relationship with yourself and boost your self-esteem. 

What does it mean to show up for yourself?

To show up for yourself means to prioritize your well-being, needs, and goals. It means taking responsibility for your happiness. When you show up for yourself, you make a conscious effort to prioritise self-care and your personal growth.  This involves setting healthy boundaries, making time for activities that bring you joy and fulfilment, and making decisions that align with your values and goals.

This is all great stuff but there is one important thing missing here, how does this relate to you specifically? 

We all have unique needs and desires. If we want to be there for ourselves it's important to translate this concept and understand what being there for ourselves looks like for each one of us.

It is good to highlight that this concept might evolve with time. Your needs in your teen years won’t be the same as when you hit your fifties. That is ok. There is no right or wrong answer here. You don’t need to have a fully developed idea just yet. You will have plenty of time to tailor it.

A different way to start showing up for yourself

Let’s think about your best friend for a moment. I know we are not in the steps of the Met Gala, and this is not Gossip Girl. My apologies if this sounds too teenagerish. Regardless of how you would call this person, take a moment to identify them. We will get some inspiration from them.

• What do you like the most about this relationship?

• What does this person do to make you feel supported? 

The answers to these questions will help you figure out what being there means for you. 

Here are some practical ways to show up for yourself that you might consider:

• Listening to yourself.

• Letting things out and expressing yourself.

• Allowing yourself to be angry if that is what it takes.

• Acknowledging difficulties and being patient with yourself when you go through them or when you screw things up.

• Journaling. 

• Connect with your feelings without judging them.

• Looking after your physical health to improve your overall well-being.  Simple steps such as going for a walk can help you recharge, clear your mind and improve your mental health. 

• Make time for yourself. 

• Prioritise your needs. 

• Focus on increasing self-love. 

• Set boundaries and make time for your self-care. 

• Take an amazing bubble bath. 

A Simple and Powerful Way to Show Up for Yourself

We have gone to your best friend to draw some inspiration. Let’s focus on this relationship for just a bit longer. If you have chosen this person, it is because there is a special bond, an emotional connection that is positive and rewarding.  I don’t mean to be shady, but let me ask you something...

• Was it always the case?

• Did you go through some misunderstanding?

• Did you ever argue and find each other on opposite sides?

Just because we love someone, it doesn’t mean we won’t argue. It does not mean we will understand each other all the time. Most importantly, it does not mean we won’t get on each other’s nerves. 

You can love a friend to bits and be angry at them. Just because you might be mad at them, it does not mean you stop loving them.

If you think about it, why would the relationship with yourself be any different? 

You did not go from strangers to BFF in a week. It took time to know each other, open up and trust each other. The same thing will happen with your relationship with yourself. You can’t expect to be all roses and no thorns.

A simple way to be there for you is to look at your best friend for inspiration and model your relationship with yourself after it.  That will be an easy way to set a standard that is already present in your life and works well for you.

If I were to take just one thing from this blog, it would be that your relationship with yourself is just like any other. You might be angry and take it on yourself (guilty as charged), and there might be times when you don't understand yourself.

It is okay to let all that passion flow. Dedicate some time to check in on you, even if you are pissed off, it is one of the best ways to show that you care. 

Make Time To Be there for yourself 

Can you listen to yourself when you need to express your feelings? Yes. There are several ways to do it. 

• You can write a diary/ journal. 

• You can have an inner dialogue and self-talk while you walk. 

• You can put your headphones on and speak to yourself. Letting all those negative thoughts out and expressing your feelings can be very useful. Listening to what you have to say can bring insights.

Can you be patient with yourself when you are struggling? Yes, you can. For me, this works best when I am aware of a specific challenge I am going through. Defining how to be patient and loving before the time comes can be a life changer. 

Can you use kind words when you are feeling low? Yes. If you think this will be difficult for you, there is nothing wrong with writing those kind words before the need arises. If you know you will have a difficult time, you can write encouraging and positive words beforehand. This way all you will need to do is read them.

The way you speak to yourself impacts how you feel about yourself and respond to situations. You don’t have to get it perfect all the time. It is ok to struggle. Remember, your most constructive relationships are not free from drama.

Me, myself and I, is all I got?

Being there for you is an act of self-love that will bring results. I encourage you to spend some time with yourself figuring out what you like doing, what makes you happy and how to be there for you. As much as I advocate developing a constructive relationship with yourself, it is not at the expense of ignoring relationships with others.

The fact that you can have a positive relationship with yourself does not mean that you should be alone. We all need friends and a support system. Funnily enough, the healthier your relationship with yourself is, the better your relationship with others will be. 

If you are struggling, ask for help. It is completely okay. Even though it might not seem that way, there are always people in your life willing to help. You might not even know them directly. Don't forget there are plenty of associations supporting mental health issues and resources available to you that you might have overlooked. 

Being there to support you has incredible benefits:

• It will help you be more aware of your needs and your struggles.

• It will increase your understanding of yourself.

• It will make you feel closer to yourself.

• It helps develop a loving relationship with you. It is not about being perfect but supporting yourself in whichever way you need.

• You don’t need to be perfect to be loved and appreciated.

The desire for approval and affection from others is a natural inclination. However, complications arise when we internalize that we must overcompensate or conform flawlessly to attain acceptance, fearing that we might not be good enough.

Learning to be there for yourself can help you see that even though things might not be perfect, you can be there no matter what. With time, you can start seeing yourself in a different light. With practice and patience, you can learn to appreciate yourself for who you are and develop a sense of love that can change your life for good. Life-changing, if you ask me.

Practical Ways To Be There For Yourself  

• I mentioned what showing up for yourself means. However, you might have a different concept than mine. What does being there for you mean to you? How would you know if you have been successful?

• Think about your best friend to find some inspiration. What does this person do to make you feel supported? In what ways do they show up for you?

• Your relationship with yourself is like any other. You will need time to develop it. Relationships are not always easy. You might find challenges and face bumpy rides. That is alright.

• Being there for yourself doesn’t mean all your problems will miraculously go away. It needs time and practice, but the benefits will be worth your while.

Action steps 

What is the first step you can take towards being there for you?