<img src="https://letcheck.b-cdn.net/1428/clxmahodr1eirfx8z578x770t.png" style="width: 100%; height: auto; cursor: pointer;" draggable="true">Being perfect is the most imperfect thing we can do.It stunts our growth, makes it difficult to be ourselves and makes us worry excessively about things that will never come true.&nbsp;But none of that matters.&nbsp;&nbsp;For most of us, being a perfectionist is ingrained in our minds and our hearts. It has been brewing from early on in our lives.&nbsp;Do we need to make things more complicated than they have to be?&nbsp;Of course (lol)These are five things that can keep you stuck in your perfectionism. I will share some baby steps to change them.&nbsp;<h3 id="2e097700-eb67-409d-b2db-19d38bea3ef2" data-toc-id="2e097700-eb67-409d-b2db-19d38bea3ef2">Lack of understanding.</h3>Perfectionism stems from childhood.We have had a lot of time to become proficient at it. How can you expect to respond differently if that’s what you have learned?Expecting to respond to your challenges as if none of this had happened is unrealistic and harmful. It will keep you stuck.&nbsp;It is ok to strive for perfection. It is ok to overthink things. Just because we have learned to respond that way doesn’t mean we can’t change. Understand that this process takes time, practice and a little love.There is nothing wrong with you.&nbsp;<h3 id="8a91ff06-608b-4ae4-b97d-7b8a93c16035" data-toc-id="8a91ff06-608b-4ae4-b97d-7b8a93c16035">Lack of support</h3>Trying to be perfect all the time is exhausting.It is easy to feel aggravated when we make a mistake or things don’t turn out as expected. The tolerance levels towards ourselves can drastically drop below zero. At this point, you might as well run for cover.Can you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? I have no idea.Can you make more progress if you support yourself when the perfectionism quicks in? 100% yes. Quicking ourselves when we are down, is not it. Remember:<ul><li style="color: rgb(14, 16, 26)">Blaming yourself for being you = caca</li><li style="color: rgb(14, 16, 26)">Everybody would respond the same way if they had gone through the same things you have.</li></ul>Our perfectionist tendencies are there. It is better to honour and manage them constructively than fight them.Those same things that aggravate you make you who you are.It is not all bad.&nbsp;You will get you where you need to get because of it.<img src="https://letcheck.b-cdn.net/1428/clxmahwot1gwlh18zfhrs953u.png" style="width: 540px; height: 354.05px; cursor: pointer;" draggable="true"><h3 id="de214649-042d-46da-b9c5-58dd463181f2" data-toc-id="de214649-042d-46da-b9c5-58dd463181f2">The issue is not our perfectionism. It is our perception of it.&nbsp;</h3>We are all wearing a mask.In our case, that mask can take different forms:<ul><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">Wanting to become invisible and avoid confrontation.</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">Having a rigid attitude.</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">Tendency to be in control at all times.&nbsp;</li></ul>If you wear tinted sunglasses with a blueish lens, life will have a blueish colour. Is life blue? Not really, but the glasses are.Just because it feels blue, it doesn’t mean it always is.There are many masks. We all wear masks. Some of us have been wearing them for longer. Being aware of them helps.Just because we identify with our masks doesn’t mean that’s what we are.&nbsp;We can always try a new mask on.&nbsp;<h3 id="378a3a08-37a7-49de-ab41-098ed3c364e3" data-toc-id="378a3a08-37a7-49de-ab41-098ed3c364e3">Not honouring our inner wisdom</h3>Patience is not our forte.We all have our own learning pace. We need time to break through and gain awareness.Rushing things through adds a layer of stress. Here are some ways it can manifest:<ol><li style="color: rgb(14, 16, 26)">You want to run before you walk: we have had a lifetime to be great perfectionists. We need to learn new healthy ways, and this takes time.</li><li style="color: rgb(14, 16, 26)">You want a sprint rather than a marathon. Rushing towards the finish line may not yield the desired results. You might not see it yet, but there is wisdom and the potential for happiness.</li><li style="color: rgb(14, 16, 26)">You are not giving enough time for things to grow and change. Your actions need time to come to fruition. No need to keep doing them to speed the process up. Plants need water to grow. Watering more often can kill them. There is no need to overwater yourself.</li></ol>You might not see it yet, but your pace is perfect.<img src="https://letcheck.b-cdn.net/1428/clvevls2t09dunt9n9207bcmr.png" style="width: 333px; height: 333px; cursor: pointer;" draggable="true"><h3 id="3ba69042-11ac-4595-b88f-a6b51e289284" data-toc-id="3ba69042-11ac-4595-b88f-a6b51e289284">Focusing the attention to the things you don’t want</h3>There are only two choices.&nbsp;You either focus your attention on:<ol><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">The things you want.</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">The things you don’t want.</li></ol>Does this matter?&nbsp;Yes, it does.Option 1: focus on what you don’t want.What you focus your attention on grows.&nbsp;The more you look at what you don’t want:<ul><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">The more mental space it takes.</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">The more you overlook the things that are working well.&nbsp;</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">The bigger the gap between where you are and where you want to go seems to get.&nbsp;</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">The more mental energy you use, the more tired you are.</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">The less confident you feel.</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">Focusing on what you don’t want takes your time away to get what you want.</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">Your worries grow bigger.&nbsp;</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">The harder it gets to move forward.&nbsp;</li></ul>Option 2: focus on what you wantNow we are talking.The more you look at what you want:<ul><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">The more you can notice your progress.</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">The more concentrated you are.</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">The gap gets smaller.</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">You overcome the obstacles more easily.&nbsp;</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">You feel more motivated.</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">You feel better.</li></ul>Pro tip: if you have negative feelings, you are likely focusing on what you don’t want.&nbsp;This simple question will help: am I focusing on what I want?<h3 id="8f26e503-f862-4cce-81f4-ce22e7535067" data-toc-id="8f26e503-f862-4cce-81f4-ce22e7535067">Baby steps to change&nbsp;</h3>Doing small and consistent steps is the way forward.Babies are sponges. They grow and absorb information at a fast pace. But they do it one step at a time.&nbsp;Here are some suggestions to turn things around:<ul><li style="color: rgb(14, 16, 26)">Ask for help.</li><li style="color: rgb(14, 16, 26)">See what resources are available to you (friends included)&nbsp;</li><li style="color: rgb(14, 16, 26)">Acceptance. What do you need to accept in this situation?</li><li style="color: rgb(14, 16, 26)">Supporting and developing loving yourself. In what ways can you be understanding? How can you be more kind to you?</li></ul><img src="https://letcheck.b-cdn.net/1428/clxmai2lb1f5ocu8z8sgn5w7w.png" style="width: 335px; height: 219.743px; cursor: pointer; justify-content: flex-start;" draggable="true"><h3 id="217f7275-ba23-4ef8-b918-1504514bd451" data-toc-id="217f7275-ba23-4ef8-b918-1504514bd451">Food for thought:</h3>There is no rush to do it all at once. I will ask you some simple questions to help you integrate this further, should you want to.<ul><li style="color: rgb(14, 16, 26)">What is the easiest step that you could take to turn this around?</li><li style="color: rgb(14, 16, 26)">What is the most loving thing you can do to support yourself?</li></ul>

These are five things that can keep you stuck in your perfectionism. I will share some baby steps to change them. 

5 reasons why you might feel stuck with your perfectionism and baby steps to change it. 

The issue is not our perfectionism. It is our perception of it. 

Focusing the attention to the things you don’t want

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5 reasons why you might feel stuck with your perfectionism and baby steps to change it.

5 reasons why you might feel stuck with your perfectionism and baby steps to change it.

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