The pain perfectionists experience is not for nothing.&nbsp;In my case, it became my motivation to live a fulfilling and happy life. Looking back, I can see how this affliction was the driver behind studying psychology, coaching, and seeking a spiritual life.Is there a magic formula for happiness? I haven’t found it, at least not yet. However, I have learned a few things that can lead the way.&nbsp;Here are the top 5 things I have learned in my journey to well-being.&nbsp;<img src="https://f.ezycourse.net/1428/cm34u0lgr011tqz8zexxlf8ba.png" alt="image" style="width: 100%; height: auto; cursor: pointer;" draggable="true"> <h3 id="4dd58182-9ec8-4813-af2f-933c0f818489" data-toc-id="4dd58182-9ec8-4813-af2f-933c0f818489">Feelings are not facts.</h3>Thoughts and feelings are intrinsically related.&nbsp;My feelings were real, but they were not facts. Thankfully, with the incredible support I received, I was able to understand that the source of my pain didn't solely lie in the situations but rather in how I perceived them.&nbsp;As a perfectionist, this matters. Our inner pressure to please or do things perfectly can make us feel in ways that are not necessarily true. The emotions feel real, and they are valid. But they do not always reflect the truth.&nbsp;Being mindful of my thoughts has had a massive positive impact on my wellbeing.&nbsp;<img src="https://f.ezycourse.net/1428/cm34u7kvb015aqi8zhqri03iv.png" alt="image" style="width: 374px; height: auto; cursor: pointer;" draggable="true"><h3 id="331d4bc9-183f-42c0-993c-b4d7a6619819" data-toc-id="331d4bc9-183f-42c0-993c-b4d7a6619819">95% of my worries were unnecessary</h3>I am skilled at creating Hollywood-worthy dramas in my head with little correlation to the truth.Can you relate?Sometimes, when people seem to be having a rough day, I can interpret it as a sign that the worst outcome is imminent. I can even blame myself for it. Many other times, I have been worried and anxious that my project was not good enough to then discover it had glowing reviews.&nbsp;Learning to wait for situations to occur rather than anticipating the worst has helped me a lot.&nbsp;For the most part, things didn’t turn out to be as bad as I thought. <h3 id="64362342-bbb2-4a74-9ace-f4db99a83dfb" data-toc-id="64362342-bbb2-4a74-9ace-f4db99a83dfb">Being a perfectionist is not fair</h3>Being fair matters to me.&nbsp;I have often used fairness as a criterion to judge people. That’s why it was hard to see how unfair I could be to myself.&nbsp;A number ofl self-introspective courses helped me see it. These are some of the ways I can be unfair:<ul><li style="color: rgb(14, 16, 26)">I set unrealistic expectations and I judge myself poorly for not meeting them.&nbsp;</li><li style="color: rgb(14, 16, 26)">I appreciate other people’s efforts. However, I don’t even acknowledge mine.</li><li style="color: rgb(14, 16, 26)">I am understanding with others, but not with myself.</li><li style="color: rgb(14, 16, 26)">Having a recriminatory attitude towards myself for things that are out of my control.</li></ul>Feeling loved and appreciated is incredible. But there is no need to go to great lengths to accomplish it. It wouldn't be right to assume that we need to change who we are to get there.Most importantly. It is not the truth. I know it can be hard to see it, but we are worthy. Trust me, you will see it too.&nbsp; <img src="https://f.ezycourse.net/1428/cm34u6yzy010g4r9n0jheerhm.png" alt="image" style="width: 273px; height: auto; cursor: pointer; margin: 0px auto 0px 0px;" draggable="true"><h3 id="9fae145d-43a7-4f58-928b-2407227aa1d7" data-toc-id="9fae145d-43a7-4f58-928b-2407227aa1d7">Loving myself is not based on results</h3>When things got tough, I would turn against myself.As a perfectionist, my worth was based on results. I suppose no results meant no value.&nbsp;The most loving thing that I ever did was pushing through questioning my beliefs. Just because I struggled, it didn’t make me less worthy.&nbsp;With time, work and a lot of help, I understood that the only thing wrong with me was my perspective. I understood that love is not about results. It is not even about avoiding suffering.&nbsp;It is simply about being there for you. And you can do that regardless of your wealth, circumstances or age.&nbsp;<img src="https://letcheck.b-cdn.net/1428/clvevls2t09dunt9n9207bcmr.png" alt="image" style="width: 228px; height: auto; cursor: pointer;" draggable="true"><h3 id="ca9fa6e6-32cb-4e3f-8608-6adcbc36762c" data-toc-id="ca9fa6e6-32cb-4e3f-8608-6adcbc36762c">Being a perfectionist has its perks.</h3>It is not all bad.&nbsp;One of the main things I learned is that our perspective as perfectionists is often inaccurate. We are prompt to think the worst.&nbsp;Just because we might not be quick to see the good around us, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.I have noticed that:<ul><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">Perfectionism makes us great at what we do. It makes sense, right? Our consistency and dedication to get it right pays off.</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">We are a dream to work with. We are responsible and committed, and we get things done. Our managers tend to love us.&nbsp;</li><li style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">Just because we don’t acknowledge our efforts and results, it doesn’t mean others won’t.&nbsp;</li></ul>I believe is not about eradicating our perfectionism but finding constructive and loving ways to manage it.&nbsp;

Wellbeing lessons from a perfectionists. 

Are You Struggling with Perfectionism? Here's What I've Learned in My Journey to Well-Being

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Are You Struggling with Perfectionism? Here's What I've Learned in My Journey to Well-Being

Are You Struggling with Perfectionism? Here's What I've Learned in My Journey to Well-Being

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